I'm back from a writing hiatus and ready to blog again. Thing is, there are SO many different things I want to write about. I'm a wife, mom, nurse and a girl who likes hair, wants to learn how to do makeup, I'm into sports, cooking, the list goes on and on and on.... So how do you fit all that in to one blog? I tend to write about God and reflect on the Word and I will continue to do so but I, like ever other woman, am a multifaceted person. So feel free to follow. If it's the inspirational posts you like-great! Follow those. If it's hair or cooking-great! But I'm going to keep it all in one spot. Here's the address http://purposewithpassion.blogspot.com/ see you there.
D
Friday, January 6, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Pinterest, YouTube, facebook and Real Life
I look at pretty things. I watch tutorials. I love hair and am embarking on the journey of locs for myself. I pin pictures of all things Devyn. But in real life, I'm plain. Why is my internet self so colorful, brilliant and artististic while I am so....normal?
I get up in the morning, fumble until I find my glasses which I never put in the same place, make coffee or tea and proceed to cook breakfast in a robe that resembles a Snuggie with a house dress underneath and slippers. I wonder what the virtual me would be doing? Soaking in a tub three stories in the air watching the sunrise....holding her breath underwater and popping up with a huge gasp for air and laughing out loud at herself.... her life and my life are nothing alike.
Nor are they mutually exclusive. It's me that chooses what's pinworthy. It's me that takes such intricate hair tutorials and does the rushed version on myself. It's really me who admires my own home, while not as creative as what I fantasize about online-it's still art.
For instance there is a pile of pistachio shells next to me right now. Why? Because I have a bowl of pistachios on the table and when I shell them I'm not thinking. They become this growing pile of evidence that as type A as I can be-I'm also carefree. There's a boy on my couch watching Cats & Dogs and even though it's a school morning and quite early, I don't mind. I enjoy Kitty Galore singing, "I'm coming up! So you better get this party started!" This is my life. It's not perfectly tucked and polished. But it's still beautiful.
In fact, it's a beauty that cannot be replicated. It can't be copied and slightly altered to tailor another's style or personality. There can only be one me. I'm not a picture or a song or a video. I could never be summed up in a word or catchy phrase. So why then when I browse the internet do I find myself feeling these twinges of jealousy-my hair will never look like that...I could never afford to decorate that way...-feelings of 'if only....'
More often than I'd like, I close my laptop with an idea that as much as I try to run with, she gets in the way. The real me. The one with children who interrupt her train of thought. And instead of having the discipline to stay on task, she welcomes their questions, needs, curiosities and even interrupts herself to parent, take phone calls and other silly things like use the bathroom. No one online is going to the bathroom.
This morning and this year I want to celebrate my real life. All the things that make me, me. The present contributions to the parts of who I am. Sure, I have wants, goals and dreams-but if we stay focused on the future, the what ifs and if onlys-we may miss or worse despise the present. This morning I'm deciding that I don't want to be her. I like her. I admire things about her. I enjoy browsing her albums, statuses, pictures and videos-but she is missing something so precious and intangible that it can't be captured in any of the aforementioned-breath. You can't take a picture of it. You can't describe it. You can't teach someone how to do-it-yourself. We all have it. In different rhythms and depths and tastes depending on what we're doing. Doing. Living. Breathing.
Celebrate your reality.
D
I get up in the morning, fumble until I find my glasses which I never put in the same place, make coffee or tea and proceed to cook breakfast in a robe that resembles a Snuggie with a house dress underneath and slippers. I wonder what the virtual me would be doing? Soaking in a tub three stories in the air watching the sunrise....holding her breath underwater and popping up with a huge gasp for air and laughing out loud at herself.... her life and my life are nothing alike.
Nor are they mutually exclusive. It's me that chooses what's pinworthy. It's me that takes such intricate hair tutorials and does the rushed version on myself. It's really me who admires my own home, while not as creative as what I fantasize about online-it's still art.
For instance there is a pile of pistachio shells next to me right now. Why? Because I have a bowl of pistachios on the table and when I shell them I'm not thinking. They become this growing pile of evidence that as type A as I can be-I'm also carefree. There's a boy on my couch watching Cats & Dogs and even though it's a school morning and quite early, I don't mind. I enjoy Kitty Galore singing, "I'm coming up! So you better get this party started!" This is my life. It's not perfectly tucked and polished. But it's still beautiful.
In fact, it's a beauty that cannot be replicated. It can't be copied and slightly altered to tailor another's style or personality. There can only be one me. I'm not a picture or a song or a video. I could never be summed up in a word or catchy phrase. So why then when I browse the internet do I find myself feeling these twinges of jealousy-my hair will never look like that...I could never afford to decorate that way...-feelings of 'if only....'
More often than I'd like, I close my laptop with an idea that as much as I try to run with, she gets in the way. The real me. The one with children who interrupt her train of thought. And instead of having the discipline to stay on task, she welcomes their questions, needs, curiosities and even interrupts herself to parent, take phone calls and other silly things like use the bathroom. No one online is going to the bathroom.
This morning and this year I want to celebrate my real life. All the things that make me, me. The present contributions to the parts of who I am. Sure, I have wants, goals and dreams-but if we stay focused on the future, the what ifs and if onlys-we may miss or worse despise the present. This morning I'm deciding that I don't want to be her. I like her. I admire things about her. I enjoy browsing her albums, statuses, pictures and videos-but she is missing something so precious and intangible that it can't be captured in any of the aforementioned-breath. You can't take a picture of it. You can't describe it. You can't teach someone how to do-it-yourself. We all have it. In different rhythms and depths and tastes depending on what we're doing. Doing. Living. Breathing.
Celebrate your reality.
D
Sunday, January 1, 2012
I Am Resolved
Happy New Year!! This year I start out different than many years previous. Instead of resolving, I came into 2012 resolved. Resolved as in Priscilla Shirer's book inspired by the movie Courageous, The Resolution for Women. There are 13 resolutions in the book. Statements that may sound to some like resolutions but the idea isn't try, it is to be.
After completing the One in a Million women's bible study also by Priscilla Shirer, I felt settled in my spirit that the abundant life Jesus Christ came to give us was in fact for me. The distinction may seem small but the significance is huge. The promises of God are for those who believe that He is and as my pastor so passionately illustrated at this morning's service, those who will couple their love of God with fear.
Having been in the Word my entire life, it is harder for me to go against the Holy Spirit than to submit. That said, it doesn't mean I haven't done it-more often that I'd like to admit. But with disobedience came an internal struggle, a near torture of self-condemnation because the fact that I knew I was saying/doing/meditating on things that were out of alignment with the Word God's free forgiveness was hard to ask for.
You don't slap someone in the face and immediately ask for forgiveness. First you're arrested for assault. Then you receive a court date. Then you're sentenced and/or fined. You PAY for mistakes. There's a process to returning to right standing.
Time out for processes. Time out for so-called mistakes. Time in for being fully persuaded. Time in for being resolved. For acting like a child of God instead of just calling ourselves one.
The Resolution for Women is just that. A bold declaration that we will be God's daughters. Period.
I have not finished the book but I have read and reread the resolutions. I am resolved and praying for more of God's women to become fully persuaded, to resolve within themselves that we already are who God says we are and to step out in that.
Just because a car is sitting in a driveway doesn't mean it's not a car-it's just not doing what it was created to do-drive. I started revving up in 2011 and now it's time to drive. I hope the road ahead isn't a lonely one; I hope to come across and build relationships with more resolved women, but if it is, so be it.
*For more information about The Resolution for Women, visit http://www.goingbeyond.com/
After completing the One in a Million women's bible study also by Priscilla Shirer, I felt settled in my spirit that the abundant life Jesus Christ came to give us was in fact for me. The distinction may seem small but the significance is huge. The promises of God are for those who believe that He is and as my pastor so passionately illustrated at this morning's service, those who will couple their love of God with fear.
Having been in the Word my entire life, it is harder for me to go against the Holy Spirit than to submit. That said, it doesn't mean I haven't done it-more often that I'd like to admit. But with disobedience came an internal struggle, a near torture of self-condemnation because the fact that I knew I was saying/doing/meditating on things that were out of alignment with the Word God's free forgiveness was hard to ask for.
You don't slap someone in the face and immediately ask for forgiveness. First you're arrested for assault. Then you receive a court date. Then you're sentenced and/or fined. You PAY for mistakes. There's a process to returning to right standing.
Time out for processes. Time out for so-called mistakes. Time in for being fully persuaded. Time in for being resolved. For acting like a child of God instead of just calling ourselves one.
The Resolution for Women is just that. A bold declaration that we will be God's daughters. Period.
I have not finished the book but I have read and reread the resolutions. I am resolved and praying for more of God's women to become fully persuaded, to resolve within themselves that we already are who God says we are and to step out in that.
Just because a car is sitting in a driveway doesn't mean it's not a car-it's just not doing what it was created to do-drive. I started revving up in 2011 and now it's time to drive. I hope the road ahead isn't a lonely one; I hope to come across and build relationships with more resolved women, but if it is, so be it.
*For more information about The Resolution for Women, visit http://www.goingbeyond.com/
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
The Idolatrous Marriage: Infatuation and Despair
This morning author Gary Thomas tweeted 'despair and infatuation can both lead to idolatry.' That really struck a chord with me. It's easy to see how infatuation can lead to idolatry, but despair? I had to read his tweet three times. Idolatry?
Idolatry is one of those words that makes me nervous. As a lover of God, I don't ever want to put anything before Him. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, is Paul saying that is is natural to idolize your spouse? And if so, how does the married person avoid that trap?
As I'm sure you gathered from my previous blog post if you read it, I love my husband. Nothing wrong with that right? But sometimes I wonder if it does in fact borderline infatuation. The times I do despair is probably because of the weight I put on his perception of and satisfaction with me as a wife. That my expectations of him as my husband (I try to avoid putting expectations anywhere but in the Lord but I'm being honest here, I'm not always successful).
Idolatry is the worship of anything apart from God. An excessive adoration or devotion. I shudder at the thought that I am guilty and in need of repentance. But before I can repent, I need understanding. Without it, it's only a matter of time before I return to the Throne of Grace again with the same sin.
I replied to Gary Thomas' tweet with the same questions; Is Paul saying it is natural to idolize your spouse? and How does the married person avoid that trap? He then tweeted "How to avoid idolatry (of all kinds) in marriage: Matt. 6:33, on the one hand, and Phillip. 4:6-8 on the other."
I know both scriptures by heart but I opened up my Bible and turned to them anyway. I love how God speaks different things for different seasons with the same Word. So Matthew 6:33 this time in the context of this question says to me to focus on pleasing God first and the pleasing of the husband is encompassed in this or 'added unto you'.
The great thing about pleasing God is that people who are submitted to Him take no issue with other people who are submitted to Him. When we're shooting at the same basket, we're on the same team. I'm not mad at you taking shots because you have to take them to make them and when you score, we both score. My husband is a righteous man. He would probably actually prefer a righteous woman to a needy one.
Philippians 4:6-8 warns against anxiety, something that comes with wondering if you're doing the right thing(s). In God, we don't have to wonder. He's given us His Word. We can measure ourselves against it. He has given us His Spirit to convict us when we stray and guide us into the right way. With man, we have to guess.
When we guess, we pretty much have a 50% chance of getting it right. Right for me leads to infatuation. Wrong leads to despair. Both lead to idolatry. Better stick to what I know for sure. And the benefit of that is all those things "shall be added" unto me.
Be blessed.
D
Idolatry is one of those words that makes me nervous. As a lover of God, I don't ever want to put anything before Him. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-34, is Paul saying that is is natural to idolize your spouse? And if so, how does the married person avoid that trap?
As I'm sure you gathered from my previous blog post if you read it, I love my husband. Nothing wrong with that right? But sometimes I wonder if it does in fact borderline infatuation. The times I do despair is probably because of the weight I put on his perception of and satisfaction with me as a wife. That my expectations of him as my husband (I try to avoid putting expectations anywhere but in the Lord but I'm being honest here, I'm not always successful).
Idolatry is the worship of anything apart from God. An excessive adoration or devotion. I shudder at the thought that I am guilty and in need of repentance. But before I can repent, I need understanding. Without it, it's only a matter of time before I return to the Throne of Grace again with the same sin.
I replied to Gary Thomas' tweet with the same questions; Is Paul saying it is natural to idolize your spouse? and How does the married person avoid that trap? He then tweeted "How to avoid idolatry (of all kinds) in marriage: Matt. 6:33, on the one hand, and Phillip. 4:6-8 on the other."
I know both scriptures by heart but I opened up my Bible and turned to them anyway. I love how God speaks different things for different seasons with the same Word. So Matthew 6:33 this time in the context of this question says to me to focus on pleasing God first and the pleasing of the husband is encompassed in this or 'added unto you'.
The great thing about pleasing God is that people who are submitted to Him take no issue with other people who are submitted to Him. When we're shooting at the same basket, we're on the same team. I'm not mad at you taking shots because you have to take them to make them and when you score, we both score. My husband is a righteous man. He would probably actually prefer a righteous woman to a needy one.
Philippians 4:6-8 warns against anxiety, something that comes with wondering if you're doing the right thing(s). In God, we don't have to wonder. He's given us His Word. We can measure ourselves against it. He has given us His Spirit to convict us when we stray and guide us into the right way. With man, we have to guess.
When we guess, we pretty much have a 50% chance of getting it right. Right for me leads to infatuation. Wrong leads to despair. Both lead to idolatry. Better stick to what I know for sure. And the benefit of that is all those things "shall be added" unto me.
Be blessed.
D
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Unapologetically in Love
My husband is my complete opposite. Maybe that's why he intrigues me so. Perhaps the reason I have him on the brain so much is because after 9 years, he still confounds me. I love the man. I never thought that loving someone would create animosity with my friends.
Not an obvious animosity, but more subtle things like eye-rolling at the mention of his name. I began to notice the pretend gagging and heavily annoyed sighs. I soon realized that my single and not-so-happily-married friends were irritated by my sharing about our date nights, laid back evenings at home or the little things he does that make life easier for me. So I began to guard my speech a little more. Still, I find myself daydreaming about anything positive in a sea of negativity urging me to dive in.
I don't want to dive in. I don't want to focus on the negative things about him. No, he's not perfect. Neither am I. And frankly, I'd be crushed to find out he was drinking coffee with the fellas sharing the things about me that drive him crazy.
I'm not sure if it's just me or if husband bashing is more acceptable than celebrating, but if it is, I still opt out. I'm not sorry for being in love. I don't want to change that part of me. That part that feels like I'm 21 again seeing the rest of my life in his eyes. With everything going on in the world, he is home and home is where I exhale.
So I guess that means I'm that chick. And I'm okay with that.
D
Not an obvious animosity, but more subtle things like eye-rolling at the mention of his name. I began to notice the pretend gagging and heavily annoyed sighs. I soon realized that my single and not-so-happily-married friends were irritated by my sharing about our date nights, laid back evenings at home or the little things he does that make life easier for me. So I began to guard my speech a little more. Still, I find myself daydreaming about anything positive in a sea of negativity urging me to dive in.
I don't want to dive in. I don't want to focus on the negative things about him. No, he's not perfect. Neither am I. And frankly, I'd be crushed to find out he was drinking coffee with the fellas sharing the things about me that drive him crazy.
I'm not sure if it's just me or if husband bashing is more acceptable than celebrating, but if it is, I still opt out. I'm not sorry for being in love. I don't want to change that part of me. That part that feels like I'm 21 again seeing the rest of my life in his eyes. With everything going on in the world, he is home and home is where I exhale.
So I guess that means I'm that chick. And I'm okay with that.
D
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Beautiful Advocacy for Children
"VOICE OF THE UNIVERSAL CHILD" by Bruce Scott
Someone posted this on Facebook and I had to re-copy it here. I think it is one of the most profound pieces for any parent, Ever! Thanks Way of a Peaceful Parent!
"I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities....I came to the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life, Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love
• Include me before making decisions that affect me.
...
• Do not throw anything away that belongs to me, unless I am asked first.
• Find out what my experience is like with the teachers in school, and believe me. Take action if necessary. Stand up for me too, as a person.
• Talk to me in the same voice you talk to adults with
• Respect my interests even though they may seem just cute to you
• Do not refer to me as a "terrible two" person
• See me as a whole feeling person when I am a teenager. I am more than raging hormones or "just a teenager." I will do the same for you no matter what your age.
• If you are afraid for me, tell me so honestly with your heart.
• Do not punish me ever. Teach me. Hold me. Love me. Trust that I,
just like you, want to do what is right, and don’t want to hurt anyone.
• Help me understand what I don’t know. Don't call me names, or label me or compare me, or make me compete for anything. Help me cooperate and collaborate. Be the example for me.
• Hug me, Kiss me, and Hold me a lot. Be kind with your smile. It’s all ok.
• If you are upset with something in your life, know when you are upset. Don't be angry with me or blame me, or judge me. If you want me to know something and hear you, notice your voice and angry or judgmental thoughts before you give them to me. I, like you, do not feel good when I am admonished, made wrong or blamed. It just doesn't feel good. I want to hear and understand you. I like being connected.
• If you feel embarrassed by something I am doing, hug me. Come closer. I am being myself completely. If I need to be more aware of others, I want to know that. I can hear your kind voice remind me.
• When you are with me, be completely with me. If you are in your thoughts, pretending to be with me, then you are not with me at all.
• Treat me exactly like you would want me to treat you. Exactly.
• Assume that I “see” everything. I am exquisitely sensitive and can feel pretense, falseness, and hidden agendas. I can also feel love.
• Know when you are sarcastic. Sarcasm is mean and creates distance, hurt and separates us, almost without noticing. Humor brings us together.
• If I am fidgety, seem bored, have difficulty sitting still, talk too much, appear to have a short attention span, please join with me. Ask me, with an attitude of wonder, what my experience is in the classroom, or wherever I appear to not want to be. I am not ADD or ADHD, or any diagnosis. I simply want to be where there is life, movement and creativity happening. (ask me what I mean by all this). Together, we’ll find understanding.
When it looks like I am having, what you call a tantrum, it is all I know to do
to make contact, to be heard, to be taken seriously, to be held.
• I am naturally creative. Notice how I make things out of leaves, or sticks, or bubbles, or crayons. Notice how I like to climb and explore, and discover everything all at once. Listen to my imagination at work. That's not just kid stuff. That is what you might do too if you would join with me.
• Sometimes, I know what to do without reading written instructions. I don't have words for it, I just know. I have the ability to see how things go together. I may do things differently than the way you learned. That's ok. Both ways may work. And anyway, I have fun finding my own way. The destination don't matter that much.
• I may take longer than you completing something. That is because I am in no hurry to get anything done. I haven't learned yet that hurrying, being busy and always anxious, are fun.
• I do not need you to always say Yes to me. Actually, yes or no don't matter. What matters is how you hold me in your heart, how you see me, and your appreciation for me. 'Cause when you appreciate me, and see through my eyes too, a yes or no will always be the right thing for both of us.
• I do not need you to be with me. I need you to be with yourself. When you are with yourself, you are with me.
• No matter how old I am, three years old, sixteen, or forty-five, I am not intending to deceive you, take advantage of you, use you or disrespect you. If you have those thoughts or the belief that I am "asking too much," that is not my intent. I am really, searching out ways to make contact, and to be with you, to acknowledge my presence.
• When I cry, I am feeling. Crying can be like sneezing, feeling close to you, singing or running. It is just my body expressing itself. I might have been sad, or hurt or afraid. When I am feeling in my body, I am relieved. All you need do is be present with me so that I know you are there, but not trying to stop me or make me feel better.
• I am wise. I know things. I see things. I know naturally what I need to know. I believe and trust myself and my intuition. Unless I learn to not trust myself. I have to be taught from the outside to not believe the truth of things.
• I sometimes feel safe in the world. Sometimes I don't. If I feel or sense something, and others don't, (maybe even make fun of me), I get even more scared. I can feel so alone and wrong. It helps when you take me seriously, regardless of my age, and ask me more questions about what I “see,” feel or sense. I might be seeing something you need to know.
• I really am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be "raised" and taught, and taken to activities. I am not, by accident in your life. Incredible or unbelievable as this may sound, I came to the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately, that I am not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life. Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and love.
Be yourself, and if you don’t know for sure, what yourself is, ask me. (Bruce Scott)
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
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